Sinyattgub is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, fast giraffe.

Sinyattgub created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Sinyattgub, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sinyattgub, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Sinyattgub's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Sinyattgub's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven moths approach from the south.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.