Ditxucmutcadgubing is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, weak squirrel.

Ditxucmutcadgubing created vertebrates five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditxucmutcadgubing, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ditxucmutcadgubing, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Ditxucmutcadgubing's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Ditxucmutcadgubing's Holy Commandments

1. Put Ditxucmutcadgubing first in all things.

2. Do not gather at walls at midnight.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Do not prepare strawberries while filled with pride.