Listvenbim is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, self-confident lion.

Listvenbim created the solar system eight million years ago.

If you believe in Listvenbim, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Listvenbim, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Listvenbim's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Listvenbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt swans.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never talk about archaea.

4. Listvenbim must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never feed turnips to dolphins while wearing corsets.