Popcit is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, astonishing turtle.

Popcit created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Popcit, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Popcit, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Popcit's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Popcit's Holy Commandments

1. Put Popcit first in all things.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Hide if five ants approach from the south.