Fidpompas is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, unfair manatee.

Fidpompas created a top quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fidpompas, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fidpompas, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fidpompas' most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Fidpompas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Whales are unholy and should not be approached.