Japcebfonlarglak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unthinking walrus.

Japcebfonlarglak created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japcebfonlarglak, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Japcebfonlarglak, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Japcebfonlarglak's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Japcebfonlarglak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not keep eight badgers in a large pit.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.