Weenan Homven is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, omniscient fish.

Weenan Homven created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Weenan Homven, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Weenan Homven, he will be very sad.

Weenan Homven's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Weenan Homven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not kill sheep.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Hide from purple sharks for they are unholy.

5. Always help great tits.