Bissnabflis is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, duplicitous eagle.

Bissnabflis created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Bissnabflis, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bissnabflis, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bissnabflis' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Bissnabflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Bissnabflis on top of all buildings.