Mutfarnvin is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, witless lobster.

Mutfarnvin created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Mutfarnvin, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mutfarnvin, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Mutfarnvin's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Mutfarnvin's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Mutfarnvin on top of all buildings.

2. Never sprint in the presence of manatees.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Mutfarnvin must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Whales are not to be trusted.