Tikbodyat Vanbetmap is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, able wolf.

Tikbodyat Vanbetmap created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikbodyat Vanbetmap, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Tikbodyat Vanbetmap, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tikbodyat Vanbetmap's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tikbodyat Vanbetmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat coconuts.

2. You must love Tikbodyat Vanbetmap.

3. Respect your elders.

4. You must pray to Tikbodyat Vanbetmap three times a day.

5. Do not keep eight tortoises in a large pit.