Gupjarnlad is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, awesome fish.

Gupjarnlad created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupjarnlad, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gupjarnlad, she will turn you into a mole.

Gupjarnlad's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Gupjarnlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never feed grapes to nematodes while wearing scarves.

5. Never pour water over plants.