Bifbassken is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, vain tortoise.

Bifbassken created a bottom quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bifbassken, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bifbassken, it will have a low opinion of you.

Bifbassken's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Bifbassken's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Always obey Bifbassken's priests.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bifbassken.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.