Minteennakstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, caring troll.

Minteennakstaf created energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Minteennakstaf, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Minteennakstaf, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Minteennakstaf's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Minteennakstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your chest before prayer.

2. Never stain your feet with mauve.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never paint your hands orange.

5. Do not bounce in public.