Limbopzendinjablarg is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, astonishing clam.

Limbopzendinjablarg created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Limbopzendinjablarg, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Limbopzendinjablarg, he will turn you into a snail.

Limbopzendinjablarg's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Limbopzendinjablarg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Limbopzendinjablarg on top of all buildings.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never feed aubergines to swans while wearing boots.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.