Yatcatcud is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, quiet porpoise.

Yatcatcud created Africa four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatcatcud, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Yatcatcud, it will turn you into a puffin.

Yatcatcud's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Yatcatcud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not place onions upon stone.

2. Never allow turtles to sleep beneath your roof.

3. Never handle carbon while unclean.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never speak at midnight.