Cabbetcimbugkabbotgamarf is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, competent narwhal.

Cabbetcimbugkabbotgamarf created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabbetcimbugkabbotgamarf, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Cabbetcimbugkabbotgamarf, it will think nothing of it.

Cabbetcimbugkabbotgamarf's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Cabbetcimbugkabbotgamarf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick swans.

2. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near otters while wearing cyan jumpers and balancing nine platinum spheres on your face.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.