Larnarfjap is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, vain wolf.

Larnarfjap created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnarfjap, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Larnarfjap, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Larnarfjap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Larnarfjap's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dogs with great respect.

2. Never run in the presence of squirrels.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help sick eagles.

5. Do not skip in public.