Mumzedfebraw Milqueegtin is a god.

He takes the form of a large, competent dryad.

Mumzedfebraw Milqueegtin created life five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumzedfebraw Milqueegtin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mumzedfebraw Milqueegtin, he will refuse to believe in you.

Mumzedfebraw Milqueegtin's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Mumzedfebraw Milqueegtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Mumzedfebraw Milqueegtin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never pray while filled with envy.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

5. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.