Flaplimjabpan is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, benevolent mongoose.

Flaplimjabpan created everything that exists twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flaplimjabpan, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flaplimjabpan, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flaplimjabpan's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Flaplimjabpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs fawn.

2. Always treat badgers with great respect.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.