Tipfatnul is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet jellyfish.

Tipfatnul created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipfatnul, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tipfatnul, she will turn you into a snail.

Tipfatnul's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Tipfatnul's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tipfatnul.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Erect seven nickel sculptures of Tipfatnul on top of important buildings.