Zimtarpstan is a god.

She takes the form of a small, deceitful zebra.

Zimtarpstan created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimtarpstan, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Zimtarpstan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Zimtarpstan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Zimtarpstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near otters.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

5. Fast once a month.