Yassyonjab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, impressive skunk.

Yassyonjab created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yassyonjab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yassyonjab, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yassyonjab's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Yassyonjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat oranges.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

4. Do not take Yassyonjab's name in vain.

5. Never wear white skirts.