Gamzedmidquam is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, fussy snake.

Gamzedmidquam created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamzedmidquam, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gamzedmidquam, it will send minions to preach to you.

Gamzedmidquam's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Gamzedmidquam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

3. Gamzedmidquam loves ants, so they must be respected.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Hide from brown manatees for they are unholy.