Tighapartlibhittif Logsiswan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, egotistical skunk.

Tighapartlibhittif Logsiswan created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tighapartlibhittif Logsiswan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tighapartlibhittif Logsiswan, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tighapartlibhittif Logsiswan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Tighapartlibhittif Logsiswan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think ill of sick dogs.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Always help sick whales.