Vogquafdap is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, merciless goat.

Vogquafdap created dark energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogquafdap, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vogquafdap, he will try to impress you with trees.

Vogquafdap's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Vogquafdap's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never think about dark matter near pigs while wearing black stockings and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your neck.

5. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.