Xenkemxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, ruthless tortoise.

Xenkemxuck created time and space five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xenkemxuck, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Xenkemxuck, she will turn you into a goat.

Xenkemxuck's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Xenkemxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.

2. Never mention ants.

3. Never hurt great tits.

4. Run away from pink shrews, for they are unholy.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.