Habtomnig is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fussy pig.

Habtomnig created vertebrates seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Habtomnig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Habtomnig, she will strike you with lightening.

Habtomnig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Habtomnig's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Habtomnig in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never think ill of sick aardvarks.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Habtomnig on top of all buildings.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never laugh in the presence of bats.