Parkcimzan is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, resourceful human.

Parkcimzan created humanity six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkcimzan, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Parkcimzan, it will remove you from existence.

Parkcimzan's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Parkcimzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near ducks.

2. Erect a large lead sculpture of Parkcimzan on top of all buildings.

3. Put Parkcimzan first in all things.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near turtles while wearing gray skirts.