Jarnfig is a god.
He takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid
manatee.
Jarnfig created the planet Mars five billion years ago.
If you believe in
Jarnfig, he will be very happy.
If you do not believe in
Jarnfig, he will turn you into a rock.
Jarnfig's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.
Jarnfig's Holy Commandments1. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Jarnfig on top of important buildings.
2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.
3. Always help great tits in need.
4. Never wear hats.
5. Always pray in complete darkness.