Mutjadzan Garyiksid is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, competent lion.

Mutjadzan Garyiksid created a Higgs boson nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutjadzan Garyiksid, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mutjadzan Garyiksid, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Mutjadzan Garyiksid's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Mutjadzan Garyiksid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not kill otters.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.