Butfenwot Haksabfompop is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring troll.

Butfenwot Haksabfompop created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Butfenwot Haksabfompop, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Butfenwot Haksabfompop, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Butfenwot Haksabfompop's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Butfenwot Haksabfompop's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always look after injured whales.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not make images of living things.