Davluncet Poghoghomcim Gemlapvidsom is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, overgenerous bat.

Davluncet Poghoghomcim Gemlapvidsom created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Davluncet Poghoghomcim Gemlapvidsom, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Davluncet Poghoghomcim Gemlapvidsom, she will send minions to preach to you.

Davluncet Poghoghomcim Gemlapvidsom's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Davluncet Poghoghomcim Gemlapvidsom's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

3. Never think ill of sick mites.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near dogs while wearing magenta shorts and balancing nine iron spheres on your feet.