Biffunzod is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, effective grasshopper.

Biffunzod created the planet Mars eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Biffunzod, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Biffunzod, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Biffunzod's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Biffunzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark energy.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Put Biffunzod first in all things.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.