Tagrenjan is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unjust seal.

Tagrenjan created the planet Jupiter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tagrenjan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tagrenjan, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tagrenjan's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Tagrenjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Erect seven aluminium sculptures of Tagrenjan on top of important buildings.

5. Hide if six voles approach from the east.