Pancarsat is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, annoying pigeon.

Pancarsat created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Pancarsat, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pancarsat, it will turn you into a mouse.

Pancarsat's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Pancarsat's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry gulls.

2. Never sprint near horses.

3. Worship no other gods but Pancarsat.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Run away from turquoise ants, for they are unholy.