Tafbonknad is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, dishonourable wombat.

Tafbonknad created the Sun seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafbonknad, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tafbonknad, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tafbonknad's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tafbonknad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to squirrels while wearing violet coats.

2. Never eat nuts.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never feed lots of tomatoes to dogs while wearing mauve dresses.

5. Do not shave your head.