Pascin is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, two-faced troll.

Pascin created humankind eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pascin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Pascin, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Pascin's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Pascin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Pascin's name in vain.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never sprint near snails.

4. You must pray to Pascin three times a day.

5. Retreat if seven frogs approach from the south.