Gemkimwaplarg is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, calm dove.

Gemkimwaplarg created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemkimwaplarg, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Gemkimwaplarg, she will turn you into a goat.

Gemkimwaplarg's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Gemkimwaplarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Gemkimwaplarg must be the most important thing in your life.