Quaffarzed is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, overgenerous jackal.

Quaffarzed created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quaffarzed, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quaffarzed, it will turn you into a worm.

Quaffarzed's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Quaffarzed's Holy Commandments

1. Dolphins are not to be trusted.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Worship no other gods but Quaffarzed.