Negfubfarn is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, cheerful slug.

Negfubfarn created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Negfubfarn, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Negfubfarn, it will turn you into a tree.

Negfubfarn's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Negfubfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near hamsters.

2. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Negfubfarn in the centre of the settlement.

3. Hide if eight rats approach from the north.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.