Kapsakjop Sagjenyam is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, boastful badger.

Kapsakjop Sagjenyam created oxygen six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapsakjop Sagjenyam, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kapsakjop Sagjenyam, she will strike you with lightening.

Kapsakjop Sagjenyam's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kapsakjop Sagjenyam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Put Kapsakjop Sagjenyam first in all things.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Do not listen to music.