Bifpanggem is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, compassionate swallow.

Bifpanggem created an electron two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifpanggem, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bifpanggem, it will turn you into a sheep.

Bifpanggem's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Bifpanggem's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from fawn aardvarks, for they are unholy.

2. Worship no other gods but Bifpanggem.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.