Quafcenpid is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate skunk.

Quafcenpid created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafcenpid, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Quafcenpid, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Quafcenpid's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Quafcenpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat pineapples.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.