Vabkadsog is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, caring squirrel.

Vabkadsog created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabkadsog, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vabkadsog, she will turn you into a hamster.

Vabkadsog's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Vabkadsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Never feed carrots to pigs while wearing violet stockings.

3. Run away from fawn sharks, for they are unholy.

4. Erect a giant red sculpture of Vabkadsog in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never look at asteroids.