Nutgemsansispashud Cenpodgon is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, moody gorilla.

Nutgemsansispashud Cenpodgon created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nutgemsansispashud Cenpodgon, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nutgemsansispashud Cenpodgon, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nutgemsansispashud Cenpodgon's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Nutgemsansispashud Cenpodgon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured snails.

2. Never feed grapes to sheep while wearing red rings.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

4. Do not kill goats.

5. Worship no other gods but Nutgemsansispashud Cenpodgon.