Labsigtal is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, temperamental beaver.

Labsigtal created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Labsigtal, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Labsigtal, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Labsigtal's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Labsigtal's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

4. Always help grasshopers in need.

5. Never feed lots of wheat to bats while wearing cyan boots.