Flagquafnart Cembumjad is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, humorless bird.

Flagquafnart Cembumjad created vertebrates five million years ago.

If you believe in Flagquafnart Cembumjad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Flagquafnart Cembumjad, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Flagquafnart Cembumjad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Flagquafnart Cembumjad's Holy Commandments

1. Put Flagquafnart Cembumjad first in all things.

2. Always help sick foxes.

3. Worship no other gods but Flagquafnart Cembumjad.

4. Bats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Flagquafnart Cembumjad.