Farncutfly is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, able unicorn.

Farncutfly created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farncutfly, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Farncutfly, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Farncutfly's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Farncutfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Farncutfly's priests.

2. Retreat if three otters approach from the south.

3. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Farncutfly on top of all buildings.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.