Kamquimtof is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving goat.

Kamquimtof created the Sol system seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kamquimtof, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kamquimtof, he will turn you into a plant.

Kamquimtof's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Kamquimtof's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near manatees while wearing orange stockings and balancing nine lead spheres on your face.

2. Never write about chromosomes.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Kamquimtof.

4. Always help bats in need.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.