Tarpsomjon is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, sapient dragonfly.

Tarpsomjon created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpsomjon, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarpsomjon, it will think nothing of it.

Tarpsomjon's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Tarpsomjon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Tarpsomjon on top of all buildings.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never wear pink tights.