Nelkinfet Armjarnpasdod Lakflabdavparkfencatvin is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, generous fly.

Nelkinfet Armjarnpasdod Lakflabdavparkfencatvin created the Milkyway four billion years ago.

If you believe in Nelkinfet Armjarnpasdod Lakflabdavparkfencatvin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nelkinfet Armjarnpasdod Lakflabdavparkfencatvin, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Nelkinfet Armjarnpasdod Lakflabdavparkfencatvin's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Nelkinfet Armjarnpasdod Lakflabdavparkfencatvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not listen to music.